Where the Heart Is

You Can Do It!

A Letter to my Teenager

This is a letter I wrote to my sweet teenager who, is I'm sure using up all the hot water right now so my morning shower will be nice and cool. grrr....But, I do love her so much and my heart has been aching for her lately.

Dear Kate,
I know how frustrated you are right now. I know too well in fact. I feel like I am watching myself.
Not only are you discouraged with math, but you are dealing with weird emotions that come from who knows where. The world is such a mean place and I know now that I can only protect you from it so much. I just want you to remember and dwell on these things: God is for you (Romans 8:31) Since God is on your side, you have no reason to fear (Psalm 27:1) God calls you His child (Galations 4:6) and your Daddy loves you. You've been uniquely gifted and you are needed, at this place and time. (1Cor. 12) God loves the way He made you. You reflect Him. (Genesis 1:27)
When you say things like, "I'm horrible," or "I'm so stupid in math." It doesn't line up with God's truth. Refuse to believe them. Turn away from them. Replace them with truth!
Remember, "I can do all things through Christ who Gives me strength!"
You, my love, are more precious to me than any jewel I could ever lay eyes on. I love you and pray that today during your tests, in class and in life, you will experience peace and comfort that is undeniably from your Father. Let Him love on you.
Love,
Mama

My New Love

Yes, I have found a new love. This new love creates an excitement in me that makes me want to go bake, braid my daughters hair, look through my closet and find scarves that would look good with old t-shirts I never thought I'd wear again, and put on my red high heels even though I don't own any. It awakens my creativity! I LOVE PINTEREST! I have tried so many new things in the kitchen and in my classroom. As the nights grow colder and we can't sit outside and practice roping the dummy or go for walks, I'll sit and shop on Pinterest....while I probably should be doing homework. ... ah...well. It will all be there tomorrow. Even Pinterest!

I believe

I can't take credit for this. I came across it years ago and blogged it then...it still rings true.

I Believe...
Birth Certificate shows that we were born, A Death Certificate shows that we died, Pictures show that we lived! I Believe... That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other. I Believe... That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. I Believe... That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I Believe... That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. I Believe... That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. I Believe... That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I Believe... That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I Believe... That you can keep going long after you think you can't. I Believe... That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I Believe... That either you control your attitude or it controls you. I Believe... That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I Believe... That money is a lousy way of keeping score. I Believe... That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up. I Believe... That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I Believe... That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. I Believe... That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others. sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself. I Believe... That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. I Believe... That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for who we become. I Believe... That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life Forever. I Believe... Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I Believe... That your life can be changed in a matter of seconds by people who don't even know you. I Believe... That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help. I Believe... That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. I Believe... That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon. I Believe... The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything.

Locked in the Courtyard

I sent this story to my school friends back in Lubbock, who proceeded to forward it to the entire school. My teaching team thinks I should send it to readers digest. For now I'll just post it here.

Dear friends, I miss you all so much. My new 'school friends' just aren't the same. I know you probably miss laughing at my stupid mistakes and my nerdiness. So I will share this story so you can have another laugh on me. I know it's long but it just had to be to get all the details in. Maybe you'll find time to read it.

Ok, let me start by saying, my new school was built in 1957. So, needless to say, every time I go to the ancient, barely lit bathroom, I think that the door is not going to open and I will be locked in because it is so hard to open. So I have this fear of getting locked in somewhere and not being missed for a while. After all, Meredith and Karen aren't here to notice I'm gone.

Last week we were given the news that the school would be closed on Thursday afternoon until Monday because they would be waxing and sealing the floors. I panicked because I hadn't finished unpacking, much less, gotten bulletin boards up. I NEEDED that time! So, smart little me, left a window cracked so I could break into my classroom to get work done. I told my principal that I was going to do this and he laughed, but was fine with it because he understood my desperation. I don't think he thought I would really do it though.

I made a practice run on Thursday before I left to make sure I could reach to get into the window and decided I would need my husband to come give me a boost. I got into my classroom and worked all day on Friday. The custodians were good to come check on me when they realized what I had done. They let me go to the bathroom and told me I wouldn't need to crawl out of my window when I was ready. I could just leave out of the cafeteria with them.

They were ready to leave much earlier than I was, so I insisted that I would just crawl back out the window. They told me I could just leave through the cafeteria which is right across the hall from my classroom. I had been warned and threatened by Mr. Principal, that my footprints would be on the floor all year if I walked on the wet seal so I was a little nervous about this already, but taking their advice, I locked my window when I was ready to leave and took big giant steps to the cafeteria, with a box of stuff to go home with me.

I had never been in the cafeteria other that glancing inside. I had no idea about exit doors. I went to the door that led to the back of the school that was closest to my parked car. The door was locked. So I left out the only other door that led to the outside world. As soon as the door latched and locked behind me, I knew that I was locked out of the school and something wasn't right. I took a look around and realized, I HAD JUST LOCKED MYSELF INTO THE SCHOOL COURTYARD. This courtyard is gated and surrounded by a brick wall and the school. There was no way back into the school and no way out of the courtyard unless I climbed an 8 ft brick wall, then a 12 ft chain link fence with barbed wire at the top! How was I to do this with my box? Plus, it was 8:00 in the evening soon to be dark.

After a few minutes of trying to figure things out, I called Tadd to come help me. He was not too happy with me. He really wanted me to call my principal, but I'm not ready to show him how air headed I can be, and I really wasn't in the school 'legally'. I hated to get a bad mark this early in the school year.

While I waited for Tadd, I pushed a picnic table up to the brick wall. I still had to hoist myself a good bit. I stood atop the brick wall feeling very triumphant and ready to try out for gladiators, only to realize that at the end of the brick wall there was a little walk way that I hadn't been able to see during my perimeter glance of the courtyard. So my brick wall climb was not needed.

I decided it was time to call in the troops: My sisters (who live an hour away). Melanie didn't answer so I called Sara, who happened to be with my mom. I'm not sure what I expected them to do, I just needed them to know and be my shoulder to laugh/cry on. My mom, who like Tadd, is very used to me getting myself into these 'situations' begged me to just call the police. :) I was laughing so hard at this point I couldn't even think straight. Tadd and the girls arrived with disapproving looks on all of their faces. After a few minutes of Tadd trying to figure out a way to get me and my box out, he was trying not to yell, telling me I would just have to climb the fence and the barbed wire. I was worried about my box though so I started trying to throw it over the 12ft. fence, still laughing uncontrollably. I think Tadd wanted me to get serious, but I just couldn't! Thank goodness one of my smart daughters, Kate, suggested we lift the chain link so I could crawl under. If we only had the eyes of children. To me it didn't look like it would lift enough, but thank goodness, it did and I escaped my courtyard captivity. Kate said, "mom I've been dying to say this to you some time, because you always say it to me, "you have a noodle, USE IT!!!"

This may not seem as funny to you as it was to me but I just had to share the story. Hopefully you got a good laugh and maybe learned a lesson or two from my stupidity.
Moral 1 : if you break in somewhere, go out the same way you went in.
Moral 2: Never let a door latch behind you if you don't know for certain where it leads to.
Moral 3: Don't listen to custodians, I'm sure they were sitting at home laughing their heads off at me.
Moral 4: It is next to impossible to throw a box over a 12ft fence while laughing, so don't even try it.

Cast ALL Your Cares on Him, For He Cares For You

I really thought I was doing a good job of letting go, and letting God. Today in my Bible Study I had to rate my level of worry on certain things. 1 being the least of my worries, 5 being "I worry about that often." Finances, Weight, Career, Parenting, Ability to Succeed, and My Future took the gold for my worries. What??? I thought I was doing good giving my day to God!

Peace characterizes the person who trusts God! Worry and exhaustion will take over and characterize the one who seeks to control and manipulate circumstances. Hmmm.....so why have I been so exhausted lately??? There's my answer!

"And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? So don't worry about these things, saying 'What will we eat? What will we drink? what will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs." (Matt. 6:30-32 NLT)

George Muller said, "The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith. The beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety."

I think its time I really lay my worries down at the feet of my Savior. That's what he wants. How could I have become so greedy with my worries when He has been there all along with His arms open wide, waiting for me to cast my cares on Him.

He is the first and the last. I need to give Him my in between. I am going to stop just singing songs about trusting Him and live like God is my source and sustainer. No more thinking that surely God has mistaken my abilities with someone else that can handle these tasks more efficiently.

Fabulous Fall

We started a fresh school year and time has been flying! I have an 8th grader, a 5th grader and a Pre-Ker. Life is busy and fun! Kate is still playing the fiddle and the saxaphone in band. She works hard in her Pre AP classes. Living with a teenager has given me a new spin on life. I just pray daily for guidance. She loves me like crazy one second and the next she can't stand the sight of me. I love her sincere happy smile, when she laughs she has an undescribable beauty about her.

Macy is crazy about Science and animals. She's totally captivated by The Hunger Game books and is counting down months until the movie. She reads book after book. She loves fiction and non fiction. Her dry sense of humor and prankster ways keep the laughs going in our house. Her big loud belly laugh is still contagious and beautiful. Shhhh don't tell her I said so. She doesn't want to be beautiful. That's too girlie. :)

Alyse is interested in anything right now that involves getting dirty. Her fingernails have to be scrubbed nightly from all the grime underneath. She digs for treasures to bring in that most the time end up in the washing machine. All rocks are dinosaur eggs, all pokey, sticker like objects are sure to be part of a porcupine. She wanted to be in basketball and ballet at school. We made her choose one. She's now our little ballerina. Recently, Tadd, Kate, and Macy were roping one evening in the front yard. She truly believed her daddy could rope the moon for her. She LOVES God and given the chance, she'll tell you all about Him.

We are so blessed. "When I see who He is, I realize what I am. And I wonder why a Holy God would ever reach down so far and place me in HIS hands. My ears had heard the story. Now my eyes have seen His Glory. And I can't turn away from His GRACE. 'Cause I'm incredibly, miraculously SAVED."

SO. DaRN. TirEd. and beginning to get DiZzZY

This is it...the time of year when my wheels just won't stop! I work all day in my classroom, shop for my classroom, eat, drink, sleep...school. Why oh why do I do this every year? It always works out! Tadd and I have gone to bed at the same time every night this week but I lay there long after he doses off (usually its the other way around) and think of what all needs to be done. When really all that matters is that my new kids coming into my classroom love the first day. They could care less about all my endless worrying about who's gonna be star of the week? when? what classroom jobs do I need? what worked last year and what didn't? Oh yeah and lets not forget those 50million WONDERFUL ideas I saw on fancy nancy best teacher in the worlds blog... who has the time??? Between feeding 5 hungry people, washing all of our laundry, folding and putting away, feeding again, cleaning up, driving, delivering, picking up, feeding again, bathing my 4 yr old, reading bedtime stories, laying in bed talking about the events of our wonderful day, (And thats not sarcastic...I do LOVE my days with my growing up way toooo fast babies.) No wonder the only time I can have somewhat organized thoughts is at 2 a.m. Maybe I should go fix some coffee. :) Call me in October. Here is where the crazy begins.

Lessons Learned...Just this week!

Things I've learned this week:

1. Don't have a pity party...you will get served humble pie. Last week we all worked so hard with a very successful revival. It was reviving to our spirits and our souls. God was active and present. It was awesome. I went to a Birthday party on Monday night and one of the ladies from church said, "So and So said she was going to bring me supper tomorrow night because I worked sooo hard with all of the arena ministry stuff." My first thought was, "wow, yes you did work hard, so did this other lady sitting to my right, and for that matter so did I! Much of what I do for the church goes on behind closed doors for no one to see. And thats ok. But what about Tadd??? He was up late many nights preparing, making phone calls, getting things lined up to even start THINKING about this revival. It happened with tons of help, and couldn't have happened without the help of these two women to my right and my left. But come on!!! Nobody is fixin' a meal for my family! And I'm tired tooo!!!" Ahem....wrong thought.

2 days later, Alyse broke her arm. The very same lady (so and so) that fixed a meal for my friend to my left brought a meal to my house. A very large meal that would have fed 4 families the same size as ours. ouch I could've done without a broken arm to teach me that lesson I think.

2. When your child is physically hurting, the pains you feel are not fake or imagined. Alyse broke her left arm. I haven't done a single thing since Wednesday night when she broke it to be cause for the dull aching I have in my left arm. It got so bad on Thursday night that I had to take Advil. Its still aching this morning.

3. Don't ever look at a very small child with a very large cast and think, "that poor baby gets abused." I now have a very small baby, with a very large hot pink cast and I promise with all that is in me, that child is NOT abused. She's a daredevil. And so is her sister. I just don't know where they get it from!!!

4. Girls ARE tougher than boys.

5. The TEXAS play in Palo Duro Canyon never gets old. Sitting under God's majestic ocean of stars watching the talent on that stage is breathtaking. If you haven't seen it, you should.

6. Even if its a very small part in a play, take the time out to go watch your loved one. My little sister was in the Annie play in Lubbock. I was so tired after an eventful week and my weary body just wanted to veg out. Something in me kept saying, "if you do not go to this play, you will be the black sheep of the family for years. Plus, thats what family is for, to support you even in your smallest triumphs!" So, we loaded up and drove 2 hours. I'm so glad we did. Even with a part so small, she out did even Annie. Way to go Sara. You're better than any Disney singer or famous ballet dancer in my book. I'm proud of you. :) I can't wait to see what your next gig will consist of. GO ALL OUT!!!!

7. Sometimes 17 year old boy conversations can get very gross. I never thought a conversation would be too gross for me. I love my little brother but he and his friend that stayed the night Thursday night had the ability to make me laugh so hard I cried, and at the same time need to cover my ears and sing, "LALALALA"


8. Even your very best friends have things about them that you don't know about. After 16 years, I learned something terrible about one of my dearest friend's childhood. All it did was make me love her more. And no, I never get tired of your venting, yes, you have perfect reason to be mad, YOU are a beautiful, and wonderful mama.


I love sitting down and dissecting my lessons learned in a weeks time!

July 1st Memory verse:
"Father, teach me to number my days carefully so that I may develop wisdom in my heart." Psalm 90:12

Teens and Texting

Teenagers who send or receive more than 120 messages on school days are known to researchers as hyper-texters. These kids are:
40% more likely to have tried alcohol
43% more likely to be binge drinkers
41% more likely to have used illicit drugs
55% more likely to have been in a physical fight
3 times more likely to have had sex
90% more likely to report four or more sexual partners

Teens that spend more than three hours per day on social networking sites reflect similar statistics. Lead study author Scott Frank, MD, MS, says, "This should be a wake-up call to parents to not only help their children stay safe by not texting and driving, but by discouraging excessive use of cell phone or social websites in general.

Source: American Public Health Association
Taken from Living With Teenagers a Christian Parenting Magazine

How Now Shall I Raise You???

As the mother of a teenager I am constantly asking myself and God, "Have I handled this right? Did I say the right thing? Should I just beat her now and get it over with?" Then its, "God, please KEEP me from strangling the little red headed life out of her." My little red-headed firecracker has become a fire bomb. I never know when its gonna blow. One minute she's LOL, the next its OMG rolling her eyes and crying...and crying...and slamming the door. I just shake my head and think, "I don't remember acting like that. Geeze." I roll my eyes and have to laugh because a part of me deep inside knows where she gets it. Especially the eye rolling thing. I perfected that when I was like 4 years old I think.
I love when she is able to forget that people might be looking at her and she has an uncontrollable laughter that is contagious. I love to watch her take care of her 4 year old sister like she can't love anyone any stronger.
But then there are the days in question. My sweet baby girl growing a foot every time she falls asleep, asks me if she can go to a dance that same night that I knew nothing about. I gently remind her of our agreement not wanting her friends to thinks her mom is the root of all evil. "Kate honey, remember, we agreed, you're kind of putting me on the spot. You're not supposed to ask me these things in front of your friends. You're also supposed to ask me several days in advance. Not on the day of. And ANYWAYS, WHY DIDN'T I KNOW ABOUT THIS DANCE BEFORE NOW??? And, you're room hasn't been cleaned in a month. That laundry you said you folded is in a gigantic pile the size of mt. whatever in the corner of your closet!!!" My nose starts to tingle like it does when I get really mad. Now, I'm pretty sure her friends think I am the root of the root of all evil. Oh well.
Of course we have the days when I do things that used to make her giggle. Like doing the shakey dance when I shake up the orange juice container. She used to say in her innocent little voice, "Do it again mama!" I would shake so much its a wonder I didn't lose more weight in her younger days. She loved it, so I did it, over, and over, and over again. Now when I do it she stares at me with her tote bag full of every color of nail polish ever concocted (if it wasn't concocted before, she has done it by now) and says, "You are so embarrassing. Please don't ever do that again." POW! Shot to the heart.
I read books like, "5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter," "The Power of a Praying Parent," and any articles that catch my eye about raising teenagers. But really, just like having a baby, nothing helps when friends have betrayed them, when they don't do as well on a test as they thought, and when they are sick with a fever, but holding them like I did when they were little just isn't an option.
Daily I pray that God gives me wisdom to raise my girls in His way. That they may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ. I pray for their friends, present and future. That these friends don't betray them. But when my girls are betrayed, their deep rooted faith will not be shaken.
Growing up I had a friend named Cindy. I would lay in bed at night and think, "If I ever have a daughter, I hope my husband and I will be parents like Cindy's parents." They seemed so 'together'. By that I mean together through and through. Cindy obeyed her parents and wanted to please the Lord. Her parents were deeply in love. I could tell by looking at them. Cindy was well rounded and I envied her life. I don't know where or how she is today. If they aren't still 'together' I don't want to know. I'm perfectly content thinking they lived happily ever after.
I am a far far cry from perfect in any area of my life. I do however look at my 3 girls with pride and wonder. They are beautiful and well rounded. Macy wants to please her Heavenly Father. Her bedtime prayers darn near break my heart at times. She cries out to God for our soldiers and their children waiting for them at home, for protection from the natural disasters the earth has experienced and for healing for those who have been affected. She prays for her kindred spirit, Cowpoke.
Alyse's prayers bring tears to my eyes too. Sometimes those tears are tears of laughter. She prays for the dead turtle we saw in the road, for the cat that died a year ago, and for happily ever afters.
I like to believe that Kate still has similar converations with Him but is just more private about it now. I know she is a believer and He is her Lord and Savior, but lately her spoken prayers are kind of like the shorts she wears. Long enough to cover the subject but pretty dad gum short. They get right to the point.
I grew up praying. I don't remember a time in my life that I didn't pray. I have even done things I'm not proud of and asked for forgiveness before I did it. Those are called premeditated sins I think. Little did I know about the heartaches those premeditated sins would bring. But thats a whole different story for a later time.
Now my prayers are, "I want to protect them!" God says, "I do protect them. I AM their protector." I say, "Daddy-this world is so corrupted, I want them to stay pure. You know I struggled in that area. How do I keep them from that same struggle?" God says, "My grace is sufficient for you and for them. For my strength is made perfect in weakness. Teach them to obey my word and treasure it in their hearts. Then I will delight in their ways and make their steps firm." (2Co 12:10, Ps 119:9-12, and 37:23)
Raising 3 girls has got to be the greatest challenge, yet most rewarding, and the best gift God has entrusted me with. I want to do this job and do it well. I want my girls to be good and Christ-like. I want to be the parent God has called me to be in their successes and in their failures. Failures and disappointments are unavoidable. My job is to see that they are prepared to face them head on when they do happen; confidently, with their loving Heavenly Father by their side holding them tight.
This parenting thing...its an adventure like no other. Its an adventure I wouldn't trade for anything.

The Life of this River Girl

Four years ago four other ladies and I decided what great fun a trip to float the river would be. We loaded up and went. Over the years our group has grown into 14. We have found our 'home' on the river. There are only supposed to be 12 people but we are so 'well behaved' :) that they let us have 14. Teeheehee! well behaved most of the time. So, four years ago:

We have come away every year with fantasticly fun memories. We have also come away with some sad ones too. Last year we witnessed the flood of 2010. We watched everything that wasn't anchored down make its way down the raging river. For many of the girls, flood was their biggest fear. I guess you could say, we faced our fears that day. Thankfully, the rains came the night before we were scheduled to leave and we made it home safe.

This year, we left with heavy hearts because a 23 year old man that was just ahead of our group floating, ignored the "NO JUMPING" signs and the barbed wire on a tree. He jumped from the tree and didn't come back up. As we approached the scene it was just beginning to soak in with his buddies that he wasn't ok. You want to talk about a party going rotten in an instant. These kids were scared to death. And for good reason. An hour later, search and rescue divers found him. My whole being ached for this guys family and friends. I can't think of a worse way to lose your son. The selfish side of me was just plain angry that he made the choices he did and our good memories of this years trip might be snuffed out. Then I realized, it is what you make it. Yes, a life was lost, and yes, it is heartbreaking. But, these are my girls, my trip with them is a happy memory. It has been every year. This was just an added memory. A sad one. We learned a lesson!!! We sure won't be jumping from any trees! Not that we would have anyways.
This year was filled with laughter! Lots of it, I'm talking its a good thing we were in the river for most of it. ;)

Like when Jennifer and Jo Jo had the pickle eating contest. And when I got that grawdoo stuck between my teeth!

I'm so thankful for this beautiful group of women. We are able to go, let our hair down, and just be ourselves. God has blessed me with so many wonderful friends. I know that any of these girls would be there in a heartbeat if I needed along with my sisters and my lifelong BFFs like Aimee and Misti. Wow! How does a girl get so lucky?!

Thanks 2011 River Sisters for the BEST TRIP YET!

YIKES!!!

Time flies when you're havin' fun! So much to tell about since my last post! I have failed tremendously on my goal to blog more! Oh well, PRIORITIES. :)

I am proud to say that I will be teaching in Canyon ISD next school year. Oh what an experience this year has been. I have learned what I am REALLY capable of in the classroom. While it's been my toughest year teaching, it's been my most rewarding! I have seen my little first graders achieve, and achieve, and achieve. They make me proud. I have never seen a group of students like these guys. Wildorado is a wonderful little community. It's a shame that the teachers can't be appreciated more financially. I would have loved to stay if I could have been provided a strong curriculum and a raise comparable to what Canyon pays their teachers.

In April we celebrated Kate's 13th Birthday! I have a teenager. I have a teenager. I have a.... no really. Her door that used to be open is now most the time closed. She loves texting, when she's not grounded from her phone. :) She is beautiful beyond description. She is fearfully and wonderfully made. Even at 13.

Today we are celebrating Alyse's 4th Birthday! I can't believe how fast time flies! We've already turned our calendar 4 times!!! MAY??? Really?

I have held pretty good to my scripture memorization... but for now.... it's time for me to fly to Lubbock for a day with my mama and a precious 4 year old's Birthday party!

"Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing (NOTHING!) is too hard for you." Jeremiah 32:17

Sad To See It Go

This year we decided to take the kids on a vacation for Spring Break. In the past Tadd has been so busy during this time of year. Luckily this year, he was able to break free and take some time to go. We went to Great Wolf Lodge in Grapevine. We spent 2 days swimming and playing. It was fabulous!

After 2 days of the lodge, we went to the zoo. As Macy said, "You can't go to Ft. Worth two times in a row and forget the zoo both times!" Our last visit to Ft. Worth was for the National Finals Ranch Rodeo that Tadd competed in in October and the girls and I sat in the bleachers all weekend because I was afraid to drive around Ft. Worth alone. Even with my OnStar.

I guess after all the stress of our busy Summer and first half of the school year, we felt like everyone was deserving of this trip.

We have had a little scare with Macy. She has had tests run over the past couple of years trying to pinpoint severe stomach pain. I swear I have paid for the same tests to be run at least 3 times! Finally we had a sonogram that turned out to be clear. But, on Friday of Spring Break, she would undergo a colonoscopy and an upper GI. With my history the Dr. wanted to catch any problems while she is still young. Luckily, her colonoscopy turned out great, however, there were several places that needed biopsies. The color in her stomach wasn't to the Dr's liking and there was a white discoloration in her duodenum. He called back today with the results. The discoloration is simply what he described as 'scabs', her body's protective mechanism that protects the lining of her stomach and intestines from the damage the acid is causing.
So, tonight I am feeling a great night of rest coming on. I will finally be able to rest peacefully without worry. I knew God was taking care of her but for some reason, I still felt the need to worry.
Hopefully soon I will have time to sit down and get pictures from our vacation uploaded. The time went by way too fast! We had such a great time and we were sad to see it go.

Faith Unchallenged is Faith Unchanged

We got a call yesterday after lunch that some members from our church had been evacuated from their home. They watched from the church windows as fire flirted with their house. It had already destroyed the horse pasture, a barn, and several small storage buildings that they owned. 17 years ago this same family lost everything but the clothes on their backs because of the same devistation.

Over 55 homes in this area were destroyed including a kennel housing over 40 animals. The stories are heartbreaking. I watched my oldest daughter sob because she said, "My heart just hurts for these families." It was a lot to process for all of us. I can't imagine the fear my babies had going through their minds. We watched and waited at the church as more homes were evacuated. Hours later we would find out just how much damage had been done. We watched and prayed as the electricity flickered and sirens blasted.

Today, I am again amazed by God's mighty works. I was able to see aerial photos of our friend's home. It looks as though God just placed a hedge of protection around it. Literally! There is a perfect circle around their house. The fire made a b-line for their house from it's starting point. Firefighters and Insurance adjusters say there is no explanation. I think I can explain. There were lots of prayers and lots of faith.

Tonight I tucked my babies in their beds and breathed a sigh of relief. The fires around us have finally subsided. My dear friends are safe. And once again, I am reminded of how Great and Mighty our God is.

"The Lord your God is with you. He is MIGHTY to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

I don't know for sure, but I think God is showing His great delight that he takes in us.

Guilty Pleasures and Stubborn Disobedience

The winter blast hit early yesterday and school was released at 1:30. I went to bed thinking classes were delayed until 10 today but then to my excited surprise, school was cancelled for me and all three girls. We had a day snowed in. It was exactly what my body and soul needed. An un-planned day at home. I stayed in my pajamas all day. I finished reading my book and look forward to starting on my next one. "Best Friends Forever" by Jennifer Weiner. I love her books. Her writing is my guilty pleasure. ahhhh..........we all have 'em.

One of my goals for the year was to memorize 2 scripture verses a month. I am also in the process of looking for my next scripture to memorize.

So far the ones I have memorized are:

"May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to you Oh LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14

"Many, Oh Lord my God are the wonders you have done. The things you have planned for us, no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare." Psalm 40:5.

"How can a young person live a pure life? By obeying your Word. With all my heart I try to obey you. Don't let me break your commands. I have taken your word to heart so I would not sin against you. LORD, you should be praised. Teach me your demands." Psalm 119:9-12

I look forward to seeing what scripture God leads me to next. I wonder if it will be something about positive attitude. To be honest I don't know what to expect. I won't know for sure until the 15th. That's my chosen date. The 1st and the 15th of each month. I do know however that over the Christmas break, God and I had a long talk about my move here to Canyon. If I have ever hated anything, I was coming pretty close to absolutely hating it here. God opened my eyes to the fact that my attitude had a lot to do with my happiness. I was believing Satan's lies and allowing myself to believe that I could never be happy here. Luckily, I had an attitude adjustment and things are slowly getting back on track. I think I was making storms for myself. I hate when I do that! Thank you God for being merciful and loving me even in my stubborn disobedience.

Tuesday 2~8~11

More snow headed our way today! I sure wished I could be at home finishing "Safe Haven" by Nicholas Sparks! I am almost done and left off at a spot that is so unsetteling! I dreamed about it...woke up thinking about it and now I'm worried about my friend in the book! :)

I got a phone call late last night that the dad of one of my little guys in my class was hit by a truck while working on their farm. He is in ICU this morning. Just another reminder that life as we know it can change in the blink of an eye.

What was so ironic to me was that the little guy in my class seemed so distant yesterday. I checked him 3x for fever. I even asked him once if he felt bad and he nodded his head. I asked him what was hurting and he shook his head and said, "I mean no, I feel fine." Premonition???? Kids amaze me. My thoughts and prayers go out for this family.

I am looking forward to Tuesday with my great group of kiddos. Then going home to my warm house with my sweeties, finishing my book and eating cheese and potato soup!

Winter Wonderland

The girls spent the weekend in Lubbock with Gran and Paw-T and came home to 3 inches of snow. After watching Kate and Macy try to roll the bottem third of the their snowman from the kitchen window, I decided to go help. We laughed so hard watching them try to maneuver the huge snow balls. I thought for sure they could use my input and muscle. :) I was a much better snowman builder when I was their age. Why does everything have to get so hard with age? Now I think of snow like I think of dogs. I love to look at it...don't really like to touch it.

Moving Mountains

Last night in the snow and windchill of -35, my girlfriend Kari got her car stuck in the snow after our Bible Study. There are no coincidences with God, but the neat thing was, the study was mainly about us seeing so little because we believe so little. God wants us to come to Him with our requests and BELIEVE that He will take care of things, not always how we expect, but He will. We have to BELIEVE that our 'mountains' will be moved. Anyways, back to Kari, her car was extremely stuck. While my first thought was to call one of our husbands, another friend wasn't worried. She just started digging snow out from under the tires with her hands! I am such a whimp! I just stared in amazement! She got in the car and rocked it back and forth going in reverse and drive over and over. I helped dig some but mostly was the cheerleader and prayer warrior. With all 4 of us ladies digging, driving, pushing, cheering and praying, we got Kari's car out of the muddy snow drift!!!! I was so proud of God I almost had to cry!!!! Then I realized my ears and fingers had frostbite. I have never experienced such pain to my ears and fingertips! I thought my ears were going to break off of my head. Crazy!!!! I tell you, sometimes I think we moved to the Arctic.

So, my mountain today, God, is for there to be heat in my house when I get home from school. Waking up to a 55degree house makes me a little grumpy. It makes my kids grumpy too. I wanted to stay under my electric blanket all day. But here I am at school with sore fingers and ears. Guess some days you just have to be a soldier. My 6 kids that are at school today are in PE now. They'll be back soon and we can be soldiers together. :) Earning green and shiny stars.

Messing with the Wrong Mama!

Every day since we transferred Macy from the school I teach at to Canyon, she has cried. Every night before bed and every morning the water works are on. We have loved on her, soothed her, probed her, encouraged her, tough loved her, and done all that we know to do. We have exhausted our efforts to make her love school! Macy has never been a lover of school, but she's never been a hater either! I thought for a while it might be because for the first since Kindergarten she's going to school without me. She heard one of the students say, "that new kid is from dumbville!" ugh...I told her it wouldn't be long before they wanted to copy her work because she is so darn smart. We decided to let her visit with the counselor at school. For me this was a bit of a pride bruiser. Working in schools has allowed me into the lives of children with far greater issues. I struggled with the thought of her going to the counselor when she has a good, loving family, still intact and the most violence she has ever seen is on animal planet or her mother arguing with her Uncle Nathan. (let me just say, these are very healthy, normal, family arguments) :) I also know good and well that her little world has turned upside down. We are busy with church activities throughout the week, new town, new school...blah blah blah.

But, this morning I got so angry! She was crying and told me one of her teachers hated her and she has overheard her talking about her more than once. She heard her say, "that child has a horrible memory. I don't know how she ever tested into GT." Whatever that teacher said or didn't say wounded my little girl. My tough tomboy hates school because of something someone said without thinking first.

I guess I am so frustrated because I go to school everyday and teach other people's children compassion and manners. I love on those babies even on days that I feel like they have been true pills. Yet kids go to school and say hateful things and above all, a teacher!!!! throws words around as if she's not even there. I teach my kids at home to respect others, do their best and treat others the way they wish to be treated yet careless words are thrown around thoughtlessly. I am one mad mama!

I have emailed and got a response that I will get a phone call in the morning from this teacher. I really need to pray for a spirit of something....I don't know what. Any thoughts?

This is the Stuff

"In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed."

We started 2011 with a few little issues. Thank goodness they were "little" issues. Macy doesn't handle change well. And, well....there has been lots of change in her world! We went to see the gastro specialist. I won't even begin to try to spell the medical term for that! He changed up her meds for tummy issues and she seems to be feeling tons better.

I had a wisdom tooth show up out of nowhere over the Christmas break that was badly infected and causing tremendous pain. On Friday I got it taken out. The IV sedation had me so worked up, I thought I would be hospitalized because of my blood pressure! I was so nervous! I don't know why, after 3 c-sections, you would think I would be a pro at IV sedation. I think it was because they were going to be working on my teeth and I wouldn't be able to see what was going on.

Tadd got a good laugh at me as we went to walmart to get my pain meds filled and I told him I just needed to spit. I didn't want to leave my bloody gauze in the parking lot for fear that someone might see it and get sick, but I had no problem with leaning out the door and hawking non-existant lugies. He tried to tell me I had nothing to spit and finally pulled me back into the car. Thank goodness I don't remember this. Then I tried to bribe him into letting me eat Taco Villa promising we wouldn't tell anyone he let me eat solid foods. Anyways, weren't refried beans consider kind of a liquid? I'm glad I could provide his great entertainment Friday.

My fantastic Mama came and took care of me this weekend. It was so nice to sit and do nothing while she and Tadd took care of kids, meals, and laundry. I am so blessed. This is the stuff that makes me realize how great God takes care of me.

Resolutions?? ...Nah!!!

"Renewal is rooted in faith, not in resolutions! They are made for New Year's and forgotten on an average of thirteen days later, say the surveys. Faith is the result of a decision about Christ. I cannot make a new me or a new you, but Christ can make you new and me new, as well, if we decide for Him." Frank Harrington

I did not make any resolutions this year, but I do have goals. If I am going to have a blog...then by all means, I need to blog! So, my goal is to blog at least three times a month. Maybe then I can keep our far away friends and family up to date with our little family.

Another goal is to cling to the promise that He's not finished with me yet. The last couple of years have been filled with many ups and downs with our start of Sandhills Cowboy Church in Denver City and our move to Canyon for Tadd to pastor Palo Duro Cowboy Church. I love the song by Ginny Owens called If You Want Me To.

"It may not be the way I would have chosen. When you lead me through a world that's not my home. But You never said it would be easy, you only said I'd never go alone. So when the whole world turns against me, and I'm all by myself and I can't hear you answer my cries for help; I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through, and I will go through the valley if You want me to."

That's the least I can do. Right? My sinful past, things I've done that I am ashamed of, are wiped clean because of His mercy. So, I'll walk through the valleys, thankful He is walking beside me.

Another goal is to compete in the Warrior Race with my dear friend Aimee. It will take a lot of training and I will have to find time with our busy schedules. But, I'm ready!

Both churches are doing well. Sandhills has not found a pastor to take Tadd's place, but they are averaging 75-100 people a week and have had over 20 people commit their lives to Christ.

We are so lucky to be a part of PDCC. It is full of wonderful people and God has been at work there in amazing ways. I'm excited to see what God has in store for both of these churches in the next year.

Love Like Fire

I am desperate for Your touch
a glimpse of heaven
through the glory of Your Son.
In a moment You can

turn a life around
forever to be found in You.


I am reaching out to find
there's nothing greater than
Your love that holds my life.
Your grace and mercy that
have saved me by Your blood,
and swept away my shame Oh Lord.



Your love is like fire
that burns for all to see.
My only desire to worship at Your feet.
So let this fire consume my life.
Let Your love take me deeper
pull me closer to where You are,
'cause all I want is more of You.


and I'll surrender to Your love

forever humbled by the message of the cross.
I stand abandoned in Your presence and Your grace,
and I'll never be the same Oh God.


Your love is like fire,
that burns for all to see.
My only desire, to worship at Your feet.
So let this fire consume my life.
Let Your love take me deeper,
pull me closer to where You are,
'cause all I want is more of You.


When You call I will follow
at the cross I surrender all,
Jesus I belong to You.
I belong to You Lord


Your love is like fire,
that burns for all to see.
My only desire,

to worship at Your feet.
Your love is like fire,

that burns for all to see.


My only desire,

to worship at Your feet.
So let this fire consume my life.
Let Your love take me deeper,
pull me closer to where You are,
'cause all I want is more of You.


When You call I will follow,
at the cross I surrender all,
Jesus I belong to You.
Let Your love take me deeper,
pull me closer to where You are,
cause all I want is more of You.


When You call I will follow,
at the cross I surrender all,
Jesus I belong to You.

Hillsong lyrics