Locked in the Courtyard

I sent this story to my school friends back in Lubbock, who proceeded to forward it to the entire school. My teaching team thinks I should send it to readers digest. For now I'll just post it here.

Dear friends, I miss you all so much. My new 'school friends' just aren't the same. I know you probably miss laughing at my stupid mistakes and my nerdiness. So I will share this story so you can have another laugh on me. I know it's long but it just had to be to get all the details in. Maybe you'll find time to read it.

Ok, let me start by saying, my new school was built in 1957. So, needless to say, every time I go to the ancient, barely lit bathroom, I think that the door is not going to open and I will be locked in because it is so hard to open. So I have this fear of getting locked in somewhere and not being missed for a while. After all, Meredith and Karen aren't here to notice I'm gone.

Last week we were given the news that the school would be closed on Thursday afternoon until Monday because they would be waxing and sealing the floors. I panicked because I hadn't finished unpacking, much less, gotten bulletin boards up. I NEEDED that time! So, smart little me, left a window cracked so I could break into my classroom to get work done. I told my principal that I was going to do this and he laughed, but was fine with it because he understood my desperation. I don't think he thought I would really do it though.

I made a practice run on Thursday before I left to make sure I could reach to get into the window and decided I would need my husband to come give me a boost. I got into my classroom and worked all day on Friday. The custodians were good to come check on me when they realized what I had done. They let me go to the bathroom and told me I wouldn't need to crawl out of my window when I was ready. I could just leave out of the cafeteria with them.

They were ready to leave much earlier than I was, so I insisted that I would just crawl back out the window. They told me I could just leave through the cafeteria which is right across the hall from my classroom. I had been warned and threatened by Mr. Principal, that my footprints would be on the floor all year if I walked on the wet seal so I was a little nervous about this already, but taking their advice, I locked my window when I was ready to leave and took big giant steps to the cafeteria, with a box of stuff to go home with me.

I had never been in the cafeteria other that glancing inside. I had no idea about exit doors. I went to the door that led to the back of the school that was closest to my parked car. The door was locked. So I left out the only other door that led to the outside world. As soon as the door latched and locked behind me, I knew that I was locked out of the school and something wasn't right. I took a look around and realized, I HAD JUST LOCKED MYSELF INTO THE SCHOOL COURTYARD. This courtyard is gated and surrounded by a brick wall and the school. There was no way back into the school and no way out of the courtyard unless I climbed an 8 ft brick wall, then a 12 ft chain link fence with barbed wire at the top! How was I to do this with my box? Plus, it was 8:00 in the evening soon to be dark.

After a few minutes of trying to figure things out, I called Tadd to come help me. He was not too happy with me. He really wanted me to call my principal, but I'm not ready to show him how air headed I can be, and I really wasn't in the school 'legally'. I hated to get a bad mark this early in the school year.

While I waited for Tadd, I pushed a picnic table up to the brick wall. I still had to hoist myself a good bit. I stood atop the brick wall feeling very triumphant and ready to try out for gladiators, only to realize that at the end of the brick wall there was a little walk way that I hadn't been able to see during my perimeter glance of the courtyard. So my brick wall climb was not needed.

I decided it was time to call in the troops: My sisters (who live an hour away). Melanie didn't answer so I called Sara, who happened to be with my mom. I'm not sure what I expected them to do, I just needed them to know and be my shoulder to laugh/cry on. My mom, who like Tadd, is very used to me getting myself into these 'situations' begged me to just call the police. :) I was laughing so hard at this point I couldn't even think straight. Tadd and the girls arrived with disapproving looks on all of their faces. After a few minutes of Tadd trying to figure out a way to get me and my box out, he was trying not to yell, telling me I would just have to climb the fence and the barbed wire. I was worried about my box though so I started trying to throw it over the 12ft. fence, still laughing uncontrollably. I think Tadd wanted me to get serious, but I just couldn't! Thank goodness one of my smart daughters, Kate, suggested we lift the chain link so I could crawl under. If we only had the eyes of children. To me it didn't look like it would lift enough, but thank goodness, it did and I escaped my courtyard captivity. Kate said, "mom I've been dying to say this to you some time, because you always say it to me, "you have a noodle, USE IT!!!"

This may not seem as funny to you as it was to me but I just had to share the story. Hopefully you got a good laugh and maybe learned a lesson or two from my stupidity.
Moral 1 : if you break in somewhere, go out the same way you went in.
Moral 2: Never let a door latch behind you if you don't know for certain where it leads to.
Moral 3: Don't listen to custodians, I'm sure they were sitting at home laughing their heads off at me.
Moral 4: It is next to impossible to throw a box over a 12ft fence while laughing, so don't even try it.