Shut Up Train...

I am enjoying my quiet time. The house is still. This morning is no different from any other "stay home" day, as Alyse calls them. But with it being January 1, 2013, it is different. I am trying to think of what changes I want to make to better myself and those around me for the year. All the normal resolutions come to mind, work out more, lose that 20 pounds ...(that I've been trying to lose for 2 years now), eat out less, keep my closets organized (yeah right), drink less soda (not less caffiene, just less diet coke), and just all around, try to be a better person. Be that person that I want my girls to be. Help those in need and show God's love through my actions and reactions. I tend to be so self absorbed, but I want to be Jesus absorbed. I want others to see Jesus in me.  This was my goal last year too.  I still have a long way to go but hopefully I'm making small steps in the right direction. 
Every morning I get up and spend quiet time with the Lord. It fuels my day. Does it make me perfect? By no means. I am so thankful to have a Savior because I am far from perfect. During this prayer time I jot down things that come to mind or that I find heart healing. I also write down things that just do me in, tick me off, things that break me down. As I went back and read my journal, I realized there were several things that broke me down this past year, personal losses along with grieving with several friends and church family that lost loved ones far too soon. But then God would place people in my life, or reveal promises to me. God's grace is sufficient for me, His power is made perfect in my weakness, and there are just some things I will never understand.  That's why He tells us to lean not on our own understanding.  Am I wrong to say that a Christian's heart is so fragile and breaks so easy? I don't think so. My prayer has been for God to break my heart for what breaks his but to also heal my heart and make it clean. I want Jesus to be the name on my lips when I rise and when I go to sleep.
So, Kate, Macy, and Alyse this is for you.  :)  I love you girls with all of my heart. You make me want to be a better person.

Here are some of my highs, lows, truths and reminders in 2012. 

~Fleeing our circumstances doesn't necessarily remedy them. "It is our wisdom to make the best of that which is, for it is seldom that changing our place is mending it." -Matthew Henry.
~Emotions are problem driven, faith is purpose driven.
~If Jesus can carry a cross that was heavy with ALL of the world's sins, he can carry our burdens.
~Little boys grow up to be fine young men, way too fast.  Way to go Jerod and the graduating class of Frenship High 2012!!
~Humility doesn't mean thinking less of yourself, it means thinking of yourself less.
~I asked, "God, why have you made me so weak?"  He replied, "To show how Mighty I AM."
~Temptation is all about persuasion. But if Christ has already persuaded you, Satan can't make you do anything.
~Satan's greatest weapon is your ignorance of God's will.
~Don't settle for mediocrity at any stage of life. "Run in such a way as to get the prize." 1 Cor. 9:24.
~Don't pack a box unless you have the keys in your hand. A signed contract means nothing. Period.
~"Nothing fails so totally, as success without God." Vic Pentz
~Dream often, for when you dream, you are ageless.
~Have I mentioned I have the best kids in the world?
~There are some friends in life that you may not talk to often, but you just know and find comfort in knowing, they are just a phone call away. Phone calls are important.  Don't just text. 
~Handwritten letters are AWESOME and fun to get!  Write one every now and then.
~Take time to soak in God's goodness.  He smiles at that.
~"God doesn't want something from us.  He simply wants us." C.S. Lewis
~ Strain and pain are a fact of life, you can't escape it, have the courage to live it. Don't wimp out. If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
~ "The decision to repent, be still, and trust is a conscious commitment that requires courage and diligence." Priscilla Shirer
~Girlfriends are vital and so is adventure.  It keeps you young.  Float the River!!
~God answers small prayers...even if you ask him to quiet the dogs so you can focus on your quiet time with him.  Really! It happened.
~When a young mom with two young babies loses her husband in a horrible tragedy, there are no words found that can bring comfort. Pray, pray, pray for peace and comfort.  Some suffering cannot be penetrated. 6 months later I still don't understand, but I still pray for her every day.  She may never know.  But God does.
~Daddy can't rope the moon, even if Alyse asks him too, but he'll dang sure try. 
~"As sure as ever God puts His children in the furnace.  He will be in the furnace with them." Charles Spurgeon
~In the words of my wise little brother, when I expressed my concerns of him traveling across the world for mission work, "If God can shut the mouths of lions, don't you think He can stop the hands that would try to harm me?" Well said baby brother, well said.
~God doesn't change. We do.
~Set out to satisfy the Lord and your soul will find deep satisfaction.
~I will always find something to laugh at. At the most inoppurtune times.  I'm sorry. I'm working on this.
~Everyone said that kids grow up in the blink of an eye. It's true.
~You learn from mistakes. Never dwell on them. If you have regrets, leave them at the foot of the cross.  That's what Jesus wants.
~Live life to the fullest.  Laugh often, even if it is at the most inoppurtune times.  And LOVE. Even when it hurts. 
~Thank Him daily.

Here's to 2013!  I'm excited to see what the year has to offer.  2012 was a roller coaster with ups and downs.  But along the way I had the best seat with my best friend and my beautiful babies along for the ride.  My hands are up! I'm on the front row....let the ride BEGIN!!! 

The title, Shut Up Train, came to mind because of the darn train as I was trying to think of a title.  Someday God will move me to a house where this won't happen.  Maybe 2013 is the year. Just maybe.