How Now Shall I Raise You???

As the mother of a teenager I am constantly asking myself and God, "Have I handled this right? Did I say the right thing? Should I just beat her now and get it over with?" Then its, "God, please KEEP me from strangling the little red headed life out of her." My little red-headed firecracker has become a fire bomb. I never know when its gonna blow. One minute she's LOL, the next its OMG rolling her eyes and crying...and crying...and slamming the door. I just shake my head and think, "I don't remember acting like that. Geeze." I roll my eyes and have to laugh because a part of me deep inside knows where she gets it. Especially the eye rolling thing. I perfected that when I was like 4 years old I think.
I love when she is able to forget that people might be looking at her and she has an uncontrollable laughter that is contagious. I love to watch her take care of her 4 year old sister like she can't love anyone any stronger.
But then there are the days in question. My sweet baby girl growing a foot every time she falls asleep, asks me if she can go to a dance that same night that I knew nothing about. I gently remind her of our agreement not wanting her friends to thinks her mom is the root of all evil. "Kate honey, remember, we agreed, you're kind of putting me on the spot. You're not supposed to ask me these things in front of your friends. You're also supposed to ask me several days in advance. Not on the day of. And ANYWAYS, WHY DIDN'T I KNOW ABOUT THIS DANCE BEFORE NOW??? And, you're room hasn't been cleaned in a month. That laundry you said you folded is in a gigantic pile the size of mt. whatever in the corner of your closet!!!" My nose starts to tingle like it does when I get really mad. Now, I'm pretty sure her friends think I am the root of the root of all evil. Oh well.
Of course we have the days when I do things that used to make her giggle. Like doing the shakey dance when I shake up the orange juice container. She used to say in her innocent little voice, "Do it again mama!" I would shake so much its a wonder I didn't lose more weight in her younger days. She loved it, so I did it, over, and over, and over again. Now when I do it she stares at me with her tote bag full of every color of nail polish ever concocted (if it wasn't concocted before, she has done it by now) and says, "You are so embarrassing. Please don't ever do that again." POW! Shot to the heart.
I read books like, "5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter," "The Power of a Praying Parent," and any articles that catch my eye about raising teenagers. But really, just like having a baby, nothing helps when friends have betrayed them, when they don't do as well on a test as they thought, and when they are sick with a fever, but holding them like I did when they were little just isn't an option.
Daily I pray that God gives me wisdom to raise my girls in His way. That they may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ. I pray for their friends, present and future. That these friends don't betray them. But when my girls are betrayed, their deep rooted faith will not be shaken.
Growing up I had a friend named Cindy. I would lay in bed at night and think, "If I ever have a daughter, I hope my husband and I will be parents like Cindy's parents." They seemed so 'together'. By that I mean together through and through. Cindy obeyed her parents and wanted to please the Lord. Her parents were deeply in love. I could tell by looking at them. Cindy was well rounded and I envied her life. I don't know where or how she is today. If they aren't still 'together' I don't want to know. I'm perfectly content thinking they lived happily ever after.
I am a far far cry from perfect in any area of my life. I do however look at my 3 girls with pride and wonder. They are beautiful and well rounded. Macy wants to please her Heavenly Father. Her bedtime prayers darn near break my heart at times. She cries out to God for our soldiers and their children waiting for them at home, for protection from the natural disasters the earth has experienced and for healing for those who have been affected. She prays for her kindred spirit, Cowpoke.
Alyse's prayers bring tears to my eyes too. Sometimes those tears are tears of laughter. She prays for the dead turtle we saw in the road, for the cat that died a year ago, and for happily ever afters.
I like to believe that Kate still has similar converations with Him but is just more private about it now. I know she is a believer and He is her Lord and Savior, but lately her spoken prayers are kind of like the shorts she wears. Long enough to cover the subject but pretty dad gum short. They get right to the point.
I grew up praying. I don't remember a time in my life that I didn't pray. I have even done things I'm not proud of and asked for forgiveness before I did it. Those are called premeditated sins I think. Little did I know about the heartaches those premeditated sins would bring. But thats a whole different story for a later time.
Now my prayers are, "I want to protect them!" God says, "I do protect them. I AM their protector." I say, "Daddy-this world is so corrupted, I want them to stay pure. You know I struggled in that area. How do I keep them from that same struggle?" God says, "My grace is sufficient for you and for them. For my strength is made perfect in weakness. Teach them to obey my word and treasure it in their hearts. Then I will delight in their ways and make their steps firm." (2Co 12:10, Ps 119:9-12, and 37:23)
Raising 3 girls has got to be the greatest challenge, yet most rewarding, and the best gift God has entrusted me with. I want to do this job and do it well. I want my girls to be good and Christ-like. I want to be the parent God has called me to be in their successes and in their failures. Failures and disappointments are unavoidable. My job is to see that they are prepared to face them head on when they do happen; confidently, with their loving Heavenly Father by their side holding them tight.
This parenting thing...its an adventure like no other. Its an adventure I wouldn't trade for anything.