My Girls

They know me in a way no one ever has.
They open me to things I never knew existed.
They drive me to insanity and push me to my depths.
They are the beat of my heart,
the pulse of my veins,
and the energy in my soul.
They are my girls.

KATE & MACY

She knew that she was formed by God's hands

dreamed up in His heart

and placed in this world for a purpose.

TAL & ACACIA - YAHWEH

No Turning Back

When it was revealed to us that Canyon would be the new place we called home I can't say I was jumping with joy. I loved my home in Plains. I loved my home in Lubbock too! So many times over the past 19 months I am reminded of Lot's wife in the book of Genesis. You see, Lot and his family were instructed to leave a rotten, sinful place because two angels had been sent by the Lord to destroy it. The angels told them to leave and not look back or they would surely die. Lot was able to escape with his wife and 2 daughters. Scripture doesn't say why she looked back, but she did. Did she have deep secrets she didn't want to leave behind?? Was she just curious and wanted to see what was happening behind her? Was she leaving behind a home she loved dearly and just didn't know how to let go? I don't know. I do know that it was out of worldly disobedience that she looked back. She didn't trust in God. Scripture does tell us that God said if he found 10 good people in the land he would not destroy it. He then went on to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah and the whole Jordan Valley. Lot's wife looked back. She immediately turned to a pillar of salt. Somedays I can tell when I wake up that I better get on my knees because I feel like my faith is nothing but a pillar of salt.

Now, let me get this straight. I AM NOT saying we left Plains or Lubbock because they are shameful places. Of all the places I've lived, Lubbock is my earthly home. My mama, brother, and sisters are there. The people there are the friendliest people I have ever met. Lubbock is where I was raised and it is full of amazing people. This has everything to do with moving ahead and not looking back. I am so guilty of looking back and remembering how wonderful things were instead of looking ahead at the wonderful things God has planned for us! When I sit alone on Saturdays listening to my washer and dryer work overtime I remember my Saturdays spent with my mom, the days when my husband's weekends weren't crazier than my weekdays and its easy to look back. But, God has blessed us here. Satan knows he can't destroy me, so he tries to distract me. He knows he can't have me for eternity so he wants to keep me from working for the kingdom of God while I'm here on earth. If my faith remains a pillar of salt then I am no good for the works of God.

It's ok that I miss my mom and sisters. It's ok to have good memories. But I want to experience all God has to offer in my here and now. I want to share the light in the dark world. No more looking back. There's too much to lose. Instead of growing bitter because my weekends aren't what they used to be, I have started resting in the quiet and in His embrace (with the whir of the washer and dryer). Knowing that God's plan and purpose for me is not yet complete. Why rob ourselves of the promises and blessings God has in store for us here on earth by dwelling on the things of the past?